Salam everybody
24/12/2012- my last day of working before aku amik unpaid leave and terus ke maternity leave for 60 consecutive days. Well many asked why I leave so early since my due date is actually fall on 14 January 2013. Tapi aku ada seribu satu mcm reason and obviously satu daripadanya is; aku dah tak larat nak kerja. My job scope maybe different with other mummy kan. Jenis yg selagi tak cuti, alamatnya balik lah memalam bute or akan berlambaklah kerja n responsibility selagi wujud kat tempat yg namanya ofis. Lagipun my boss advised me to leave earlier so aku rasa better kot.
Kat rumah, kalau lah betul due next year, aku rasa mcm2 boleh buat. It's time for me to menenangkan hati yg gusar gara2 takut dgr lots and lots of stories pasal kesakitan nak bersalin. Aku mmg dari dulu seriau dgr cerita2 bab beranak2 ni kan. Tawakal to Allah, tapi at the same time I want to get ready and have full preparation before I go to labour room for delivery. Hope everything goes well, insyaAllah.
As I always read and online on the related topic pasal deliver baby ni, I'd like to share also what we should do dalam time2 mcm ni. Aku belum dapat lihat hasilnya coz belum bersalin lagi, but will share with you guys insyaAllah (mcm lah ada reader hehe) apa hasilnya.
Bangun seawal subuh, solat dgn khusyuk, berdoalah pagi2 supaya segar dan tenang. Baca yasin and selawat. Gosok baju laki sbb dia nak g keje. Pastu, lawan nafsu tidur!! sekarang mmg nak lawan! so, pagi2 time tak panas dan udara masih fresh, aku jalan kaki area rumah. dalam 20 minit macam tu. Jgn biar rasa terlalu penat. Just jalan slow2, sbb kata org, dah nak deliver, byk gerak itu bagus.
balik baru lah cari makan. sepanjang pregnant tak berkesempatan nak makan buah kurma byk2. so time2 tunggu hari ni lah, pulun makan kurma. Minum susu dan minum air suam byk2. Jgn lupa amik folic asid, vitamins yg hospital bagi utk boost energy. Then rileks sat, duduk, or baring. Gara2 penat berjalan, sometimes boleh terlelap. tp tak bagus sgt coz nnti jadi letih n hilang tenaga. So, buat lah apa2 such as tengok Tv, vacum/kemas rumah, basuh baju or basuh toilet. hehe..that one antara faveret aku time2 pregnant ni. tp make sure, buat apa pun, mesti selang seli dgn rehat yg cukup. Jgn paksa diri.
Then I will take my lunch. Time pregnant selera sgt membuak2. But I dont care. Makan aje lah coz lapar kan? Time mcm ni, kalori kena tambah. So makan lah nasi byk2, tp jgn lah byk sgt, kadar2 lah, untuk dpt tenaga yg cukup nnti. Then boleh continue dgn solat zuhur, mengaji, solat asar, mengaji etc etc. Surah yg bagus diamalkan (menurut pembacaan aku) ialah surah maryam, yusuf and luqman. Yes, I did it. Tapi time2 nak bersalin ni, aku amalkan surah maryam coz insyaAllah this is to ease the pain during contraction/delivery. InsyaAllah amin...moga2 benarlah dipermudahkan amin amin amin.
Pendek kata, waktu2 dalam tunggu hari ni, mmg nak banyakkan amalan. N byk2 berdoa. Nak jadi positif, baca lah banyak2 buku ilmiah, n tengok2 lah blog org2 yg berilmu. Dgr motivasi n rancangan2 tv yg bg inspirasi. Baru lah boleh tenang n bermotivasi. Tak tau lagi rasa bersalin tu mcm mana, tp yg mampu doa je lah n ikut petua2 tu semua. InsyaAllah tuhan permudahkan, selagi kita berhajat, berdoa dan serah bulat2 semua urusan hanya padaNya, insyaAllah diberi kekuatan utk hadap semua tu. Lagipun dah carry 9 months kan, nak taknak kena hadap jugak rasa2 sakit tu semua.
Dah masuk 9 bulan ni, aku taknak fikir byk2 benda yg membuatkan aku stress. Just nak rileks mentally and physically also. Apa2 yg nak dibuat, kena ikhlas dan perbetul niat. As a human, of course aku banyak lacking sana sini but I'm still learning to be a good person. Always remind myself to be sincere in everything I did. Secondly, apa2 yg aku nak buat, bear in mind, semuanya kerana nak dapat redha Allah. That's it. Kalau kita letak banyak sgt niat time buat apa2 kat dunia ni, we will be pressure. So untuk dpat tenangkan hati, I just have to say, and think, niat kena hanya kerana Allah. Tiada yg lain. The only hope. The only destination. Next is syukur. Aku nak tanam dalam diri, mcm mana teruk pun dugaan yg datang, ujian yg mencabar diri, tempuh je dgn tenang. Jgn rasa kurang. Cari kelebihan2 yg sgt banyak Allah dh bg kat kita. Istighfar dan tanamlah rasa syukur byk2 atas kelebihan diri. Dari situ, kita tak akan asyik nak mengeluh dan komplen itu ini.
Okeh, panjang sgt dah ni. InsyaAllah jumpa entry lain, maybe lepas beranak ke? who knows. Pray for me untuk melahirkan dgn selamatnya. Amin
About Me
- Af Zan
- Welcome. Just wanna share my thoughts and this is medium to express my emotions...:)
Monday, 24 December 2012
Friday, 16 November 2012
Azam tahun baru
Salam,
Today is 16 Nov 2012 = 2 Muharram 1434....Alhamdulillah, a new year, with new hopes. Of course, berlambax lah azam yg dah di short list kan untuk tahun ini..:)
Today is 16 Nov 2012 = 2 Muharram 1434....Alhamdulillah, a new year, with new hopes. Of course, berlambax lah azam yg dah di short list kan untuk tahun ini..:)
1) Saya nak melahirkan seorang baby yang comel, sihat dan selamat...kalau boleh bila besar, dia akan jadi rupa mcm ni:
haha...kalau baby boy lah yer...kalau girl, dapat rupa mcm fazura pun dah bersyukur...
n semoga dia jadi anak yg baik, beriman, berjaya dan etc etc.
2) Hope that our marriage will be happily ever after....amin...dah takmo gaduh2 dah...masing2 dah tua n should know our own responsibilities...semoga kami ambil iktibar atas apa yg jadi last year. close the chapter. bukak yg baru
3) Last year, i was married to him. I bought a house. I got a new job. Tapi hutang pun banyak jughe...hehe...utk tahun baru ni, i really hope murah lah rezeki kami bertiga (including my baby)..supaya cepat dapat langsai hutang piutang yg ada...nak release dari semua burden yg ada.....mintak2 business kami (catering services) semakin maju dari tahun lepas...amin lagi....
4) Nak new handbag!!!!!! Burberry? Michael Kors? Gucci? Chanel?? Alamaks...tak kisah lah. Kalau Allah kasi rezeki lebih, must grab one for sure!
5) To enhance my career development, and to be promote to another level. I was begin from very below after hold a bachelor degree in my proud UiTM, as an audit assistant ---> until the level of Audit Manager. I am looking forward to be a senior manager in my current firm, insyaAllah will achieve it this year. With a new range of salary later, takmo dah tambah commitment. Cukup dgn apa yg ada setakat ni...Alhamdulillah
ok..that's all for today. Really wish that i'll achieve all the above this year. Amin, ya rabbal a'lamin....
Monday, 15 October 2012
Mommy-to-be
Assalamualaikum
Lamanya tak update blog
Mana lah tak lama..dari awal menulis (that time in conflict) sampai la dah 6 months plus pregnancy
:)
I am a mummy to be!! Praised to god. Alhamdulillah.....
Well, my life is just like this. Nothing more, except, I am grateful to Allah for everything he gives. He gives me happiness, and now the treasure that I have is the one inside
cant wait to see my bb. anyway tak scan lagi. bedebaq nak tgu anak mummy ni baby boy ke girl ya..
dalam sibuk2 bekerja, n sibuk2 sakit, tak lupa saya rajin gak google untuk study what should and what's not for a pregnant lady like me..i concerned about my food that could affect my bb. So what i need to avoid, I avoided. Sushi yg selama ni feveret, sama sekali saya tak makan. Sbb dia raw. Benda2 raw tak boleh makan. Half boiled egg pun is a no-no.
Calcium, Omega-3, Iron and vitamins are important at this stage. So i eat fish a lot, sama naik dgn makan chicken, meat, seafood. I also forced myself to like fruits, drink apple juice, milk once a day. Kejap2 anmum, kejap2 susu kambing. kira ok lah tu kan. makan kurma for sometimes (by right kena selalu n on daily basis but tak berapa nak ikut la pulak...)
Amalan, hurm...ok la..i try my best
Surah yasin, yusuf, maryam and luqman. All for the sake of Allah n my baby
Favourite TV show now is Korean series. ngeh ngeh. With the hopes that my son/daughter will look like them or at least got a skin like them (though the fact that me and the father is not that 'korean tone' tp still berharap....) ;p
I'll update again....daa!
Lamanya tak update blog
Mana lah tak lama..dari awal menulis (that time in conflict) sampai la dah 6 months plus pregnancy
:)
I am a mummy to be!! Praised to god. Alhamdulillah.....
Well, my life is just like this. Nothing more, except, I am grateful to Allah for everything he gives. He gives me happiness, and now the treasure that I have is the one inside
cant wait to see my bb. anyway tak scan lagi. bedebaq nak tgu anak mummy ni baby boy ke girl ya..
dalam sibuk2 bekerja, n sibuk2 sakit, tak lupa saya rajin gak google untuk study what should and what's not for a pregnant lady like me..i concerned about my food that could affect my bb. So what i need to avoid, I avoided. Sushi yg selama ni feveret, sama sekali saya tak makan. Sbb dia raw. Benda2 raw tak boleh makan. Half boiled egg pun is a no-no.
Calcium, Omega-3, Iron and vitamins are important at this stage. So i eat fish a lot, sama naik dgn makan chicken, meat, seafood. I also forced myself to like fruits, drink apple juice, milk once a day. Kejap2 anmum, kejap2 susu kambing. kira ok lah tu kan. makan kurma for sometimes (by right kena selalu n on daily basis but tak berapa nak ikut la pulak...)
Amalan, hurm...ok la..i try my best
Surah yasin, yusuf, maryam and luqman. All for the sake of Allah n my baby
Favourite TV show now is Korean series. ngeh ngeh. With the hopes that my son/daughter will look like them or at least got a skin like them (though the fact that me and the father is not that 'korean tone' tp still berharap....) ;p
I'll update again....daa!
Wednesday, 9 May 2012
Amalan murah rezeki & cerita pasal catering...
Salam..hey! lama dah tak update blog..almaklumlah al busy dengan daily activities yg super bosan. kerja, balik umah, tido, etc etc etc...last month (28 April) ada tempahan catering for a wedding. so before that date bertungkus lumus lah buat preparation, sbb takut gagal!! Alhamdulillah, everything was fine, tuan rumah pun puas hati..thank god. And credit also to friends yang byk tolong, such as kak yati, aidil, redzuan, my sister ruby and niece fara n putri! thanks to All....paling penting, ada 2 orang yang di belakang tabir yang memastikan kelancaran majlis. One: someone mystery (takleh sebut sini). Dia buat belakang tabir. Walaupun puas dimaki dihamun diherdik dimarah tapi dia manage everything for me. Thanks so much dear! Dia cari kan tempat sewa pinggan mangkuk sampai ke peralatan catering, dia lah juga yg carikan cook untuk meja pengantin, dia carikan arch, mak andam utk meja hiasan, cari lori utk angkut brg, cari air masak, ais dll. Fuhh~~Allah maha berkuasa kan...di tgh2 kebusy yan saya dgn kerja, Allah munculkan dia sebagai pembantu. Another credit n dialah yang sgt2 patut diberi millionnnnnsss pujian- mak kiah @ The Cook!! Oh mak! mak masak mmg marvellous, ramai puji...thanks emak. Mmg best sbb dia buat sorg2 from A to Z. cayalah ibuku di saat umurnya 63 tahun tapi masih gagah...she's a strength for me..syukur...
abes part catering, i wanna share something pulaks. Recently mmg suka google and cari2 pasal amalan2 yang patut dibuat on daily basis. Khasiatnya, hurm..nak tenangkan hati, nak murahkan rezeki etc etc...I did it so far, sikit2...lepas amalan2 ni dah buat, usaha tu mesti ada..n lastly tawakkal. Okeh, tak buang masa, let's see apa amalan2 yg insyaAllah baik untuk murah rezeki dan dilapangkan kehidupan....
1) Byk istighfar mintak ampun dari Allah
2) Baca surah yasin kalau boleh setiap awal pagi
3) In between solat sunat subuh and fardhu subuh, baca Al fatihah 41x
4) Lepas solat fardhu, recite Al fatihah and ayatul kursi
5) Rajin2 kan berselawat
6) Zikir byk2...especially yg ni specifically for rezeki- "la haula wala qu wata illah billah ila'li yila'zim"
7) Solat dhuha
8) Baca ayat seribu dinnar
9) Baca surah al-ikhlas setiap kali nak masuk rumah
10) Baca doa ini : "Allahumma inni a'u'zubika minal hammi wal hazan wa a u'zubika minal a'jzi walkasal
waau'zubika minal jubnil bakhl waau'zubika mina ghalabatit daini waqah rir rijal"
11) Selalu zikir "Ya Allah Ya Fattah" byk2
12) Baca surah at-taubah ayat 128-129 lepas solat fardhu
13) Baca surah al-wakiah setiap malam
14) Ari jumaat baca surah al-kahf
15) Banyakkan bersedekah
16) Doakan ibu-bapa
17) Nak lepas beban hutang, baca surah al-imran ayat 26-27
18) Solat taubat byk2, n bangun malam solat tahajud (alamak yg ni konpem2 lah aku fail)
hurm..let us try..buat lah semampu kita..insyaAllah ada lah ganjaran disisi Allah kan? hehe..sharing is caring kan....
part paling best bila kak yati suruh aku baca "sum mum buk mun um yum fahum la yar jiu'n" everytime mengadap duli yang tak mulia my boss a.k.a si botak!! wkakakakkaka...sawan aku dengar ayat kak yati ni! takut2 opis aku terbakar pulak bila baca byk2 kat dia tu. hehehe
p/s: kak yati kalau petang2 mmg feveret mengarut..;p!
abes part catering, i wanna share something pulaks. Recently mmg suka google and cari2 pasal amalan2 yang patut dibuat on daily basis. Khasiatnya, hurm..nak tenangkan hati, nak murahkan rezeki etc etc...I did it so far, sikit2...lepas amalan2 ni dah buat, usaha tu mesti ada..n lastly tawakkal. Okeh, tak buang masa, let's see apa amalan2 yg insyaAllah baik untuk murah rezeki dan dilapangkan kehidupan....
1) Byk istighfar mintak ampun dari Allah
2) Baca surah yasin kalau boleh setiap awal pagi
3) In between solat sunat subuh and fardhu subuh, baca Al fatihah 41x
4) Lepas solat fardhu, recite Al fatihah and ayatul kursi
5) Rajin2 kan berselawat
6) Zikir byk2...especially yg ni specifically for rezeki- "la haula wala qu wata illah billah ila'li yila'zim"
7) Solat dhuha
8) Baca ayat seribu dinnar
9) Baca surah al-ikhlas setiap kali nak masuk rumah
10) Baca doa ini : "Allahumma inni a'u'zubika minal hammi wal hazan wa a u'zubika minal a'jzi walkasal
waau'zubika minal jubnil bakhl waau'zubika mina ghalabatit daini waqah rir rijal"
11) Selalu zikir "Ya Allah Ya Fattah" byk2
12) Baca surah at-taubah ayat 128-129 lepas solat fardhu
13) Baca surah al-wakiah setiap malam
14) Ari jumaat baca surah al-kahf
15) Banyakkan bersedekah
16) Doakan ibu-bapa
17) Nak lepas beban hutang, baca surah al-imran ayat 26-27
18) Solat taubat byk2, n bangun malam solat tahajud (alamak yg ni konpem2 lah aku fail)
hurm..let us try..buat lah semampu kita..insyaAllah ada lah ganjaran disisi Allah kan? hehe..sharing is caring kan....
part paling best bila kak yati suruh aku baca "sum mum buk mun um yum fahum la yar jiu'n" everytime mengadap duli yang tak mulia my boss a.k.a si botak!! wkakakakkaka...sawan aku dengar ayat kak yati ni! takut2 opis aku terbakar pulak bila baca byk2 kat dia tu. hehehe
p/s: kak yati kalau petang2 mmg feveret mengarut..;p!
Friday, 20 April 2012
"Tunjukkan aku jalan yg lurus"
Salam. Lama tak update blog. Busy dengan kehidupan seharian...ekekee...well, i'm coming back and wanna share something with readers, yang sudi baca blog saya ni...:)
Everyday, dalam sedar tak sedar, kita kena buat pilihan. Apa sahaja dalam kehidupan, kita mesti buat pilihan. Bangun pagi, pilih nak pakai baju apa, kasut apa. Nak makan, pilih nak makan kat mana, n nak makan apa...especially kita as Malaysian ni kan, yg disogok dgn pelbagai makanan. And yet, thanks to Allah, syukur, sebab masih dilimpahkan dengan rezeki untuk makan, minum dan pakai dengan benda yang elok-elok dan masih mampu dipilih. Of course, dalam pemilihan kita sehari-hari tu, kita harap pilihan kita tepat. E.g: baju yg kita pakai tu kena/cantik dgn kita, or makanan yg kita makan tu sedap n tak membuatkan kita sakit perut or sakit apa2 je lah..mcm yg aku kena arini gara2 makan nasi lemak..hehehe
Tapi, sebagai manusia biasa, yang lahir dan zahirnya sgt lemah, dan pengetahuan kita tak meliputi yg ghaib, thus we tend to make a wrong decision. Probably once, and maybe twice, sometimes more than that. Nauzubillah. Takut betul kita bila tersalah pilih. Tapi cmana nak pilih betul2 supaya tak silap? Belajar tinggi2 sampai degree, kdg2 sampai PHD pun, tapi still salah pilih kan? Tak cukup guna akal ke kita? Boleh ke kita control benda2 tu supaya tak silap?
Inilah yg nak di discuss.
"Bergantunglah sepenuhnya dengan Allah"
Dalam solat, hari2 kita minta supaya ditunjukkan jalan yg lurus.
Per day, kita akan minta sekurang2nya 17 kali (dalam solat)
I'm referring to surah Al-Fatihah ayat 6 which translated as "show us the right path"
kalau solat sunat, maybe kita minta sampai 20 kali atau lebih
Lepas solat lagi..dalam kereta otw nak blk rumah maybe...ahh..byk kali lahh
maybe kita sedar atau pun tidak, kita sudah pun meminta dgn Allah
n kita dikurniakan akal...berfikirlah mana yg bagus mana yang tak bagus
Digalakkan sgt2 buat solat istikharah juga kalau diri teramatlah buntu
Masih tak sure yg kita buat the right decision atau tak??
Tawakkal to Allah
Redha dengan Allah
believe in qada' and qadar...have a faith yg segalanya dah ditetapkan di qalam Allah
and we just follow
kalau kita ikut saja pilihan Allah, dan pastikan diri kita tak sesat dari apa yang Allah tunjuk, dan tinggal apa yg Allah larang
InsyaAllah semua selamat...
Berserah bulat2 pada Allah, biar Allah yg tentukan segala dengan kita mengharapkan kebaikan dari Nya
Target hidup kita cuma satu- Syurga kat akhirat
so hala tuju kita, dan apa saja yg kita buat, sebenarnya hanya untuk capai cita2 yg satu ni
kat dunia, kita berjalanlah mencari keredhaan Allah. Terus berjalan dan jangan sampai tersungkur..
Amin~
Everyday, dalam sedar tak sedar, kita kena buat pilihan. Apa sahaja dalam kehidupan, kita mesti buat pilihan. Bangun pagi, pilih nak pakai baju apa, kasut apa. Nak makan, pilih nak makan kat mana, n nak makan apa...especially kita as Malaysian ni kan, yg disogok dgn pelbagai makanan. And yet, thanks to Allah, syukur, sebab masih dilimpahkan dengan rezeki untuk makan, minum dan pakai dengan benda yang elok-elok dan masih mampu dipilih. Of course, dalam pemilihan kita sehari-hari tu, kita harap pilihan kita tepat. E.g: baju yg kita pakai tu kena/cantik dgn kita, or makanan yg kita makan tu sedap n tak membuatkan kita sakit perut or sakit apa2 je lah..mcm yg aku kena arini gara2 makan nasi lemak..hehehe
Tapi, sebagai manusia biasa, yang lahir dan zahirnya sgt lemah, dan pengetahuan kita tak meliputi yg ghaib, thus we tend to make a wrong decision. Probably once, and maybe twice, sometimes more than that. Nauzubillah. Takut betul kita bila tersalah pilih. Tapi cmana nak pilih betul2 supaya tak silap? Belajar tinggi2 sampai degree, kdg2 sampai PHD pun, tapi still salah pilih kan? Tak cukup guna akal ke kita? Boleh ke kita control benda2 tu supaya tak silap?
Inilah yg nak di discuss.
"Bergantunglah sepenuhnya dengan Allah"
Dalam solat, hari2 kita minta supaya ditunjukkan jalan yg lurus.
Per day, kita akan minta sekurang2nya 17 kali (dalam solat)
I'm referring to surah Al-Fatihah ayat 6 which translated as "show us the right path"
kalau solat sunat, maybe kita minta sampai 20 kali atau lebih
Lepas solat lagi..dalam kereta otw nak blk rumah maybe...ahh..byk kali lahh
maybe kita sedar atau pun tidak, kita sudah pun meminta dgn Allah
n kita dikurniakan akal...berfikirlah mana yg bagus mana yang tak bagus
Digalakkan sgt2 buat solat istikharah juga kalau diri teramatlah buntu
Masih tak sure yg kita buat the right decision atau tak??
Tawakkal to Allah
Redha dengan Allah
believe in qada' and qadar...have a faith yg segalanya dah ditetapkan di qalam Allah
and we just follow
kalau kita ikut saja pilihan Allah, dan pastikan diri kita tak sesat dari apa yang Allah tunjuk, dan tinggal apa yg Allah larang
InsyaAllah semua selamat...
Berserah bulat2 pada Allah, biar Allah yg tentukan segala dengan kita mengharapkan kebaikan dari Nya
Target hidup kita cuma satu- Syurga kat akhirat
so hala tuju kita, dan apa saja yg kita buat, sebenarnya hanya untuk capai cita2 yg satu ni
kat dunia, kita berjalanlah mencari keredhaan Allah. Terus berjalan dan jangan sampai tersungkur..
Amin~
Friday, 30 March 2012
Cintai Allah Maha Agung
Maka mencintai Allah lebih dari segala-galanya itulah yang harus diterapkan dalam diri. Cuba mencari dan terus mencari cinta Allah. Takkan ada benda yang datang bergolek. Walaupun kita dilahirkan islam, kita masih wajib mencari iman. Harus mendapatkan hidayah dariNya. Iman tak dapat diwarisi. Tapi kita dikurniakan akal fikiran. Tepuk dada tanya selera. Mana jalan yang kita nak pilih untuk bahagia? So, serah lah bulat bulat kepada Allah s.w.t. Dalam al-quran sendiri ada quote byk mengenai penyerahan kita kepada Allah. Cuba lakukan yang terbaik untuk bahagia. Bersangka baik dengan Allah. Apa pun jalan yang kita pilih, kalau kita rasakan tujuannya semata-mata kerana Allah s.w.t, insyaAllah Allah lorongkan dan temukan yang terbaik saja untuk kita. Kalau tertimpa sesuatu di tengah jalan pun, itu adalah ujian kesabaran untuk kita tempuh, n mudah mudahan kalau kita still ikut jalan yg betul dgn sabar, Allah letak ganjaran yang tinggi untuk kita. Mungkin kalau kemanisan itu bukan di dunia, Allah pasti temukan kemanisan tu di syurga nanti Amin Wallahuallam.....
Setakat hari ni, hati saya masih terbuka untuk terima sesuatu yang masih, pada saya, punya harapan dan kesudahan yang baik insyaAllah. Kerana telah memilih sekali, saya masih rasa yang pemilihan yang lepas adalah yang terbaik untuk dipertahankan, untuk diperbaiki. Mungkin dulu lain ceritanya. Tapi dengan hidayah Allah beri, sedikit penghijrahan yang sangatlah kecil dari diri sendiri, saya ingin sangat gunakan untuk perbaiki sesuatu yang sudah hampir rapuh dan hancur. Konfiden itu datang dari kepercayaan dan penyerahan hidup bulat-bulat kepada Allah. Rasa cinta ada Allah wajib lebih dari segala galanya. Dengan itu kita mungkin dapat buat pilihan dengan lebih yakin. As a human yang sangat lemah pengetahuan dan langsung buta dengan keghaiban, atau kejadian yang bakal dihadapi, saya cuma berharap keputusan ini tepat.
Mungkin Allah sedang menguji saya sekarang. Apa yang dah jadi, saya jadikan satu pengajaran yang besar, dan dengan itu, pelbagai action and back up action, selain catatan untuk mengingatkan diri dan menghindarkan diri dari terjerumus pada sesuatu yang tak diingini berlaku. Kemudian, I will always assume yang manusia sangat sukar berubah. Seseorang yang lain tidak mungkin dapat mengubah seorang yang lainnya, kalau bukan datang dari inisiatif diri orang itu sendiri. So macamana? caranya, berdoa dan solat hajat agar Allah temukan jalan yg lurus buat orang itu, dan sebagai orang yang rapat dengannya, haruslah ada cara yang 'halus' untuk kasi perubahan dalam diri org tersebut. Halus tak bermaksud jin, syaitan dan sebagainya ya. Tapi indirect ways/means to lead the people tend to change to the right path. Bantu dia. Serik dah nak jadi cikgu atau makcik bebel, atau jadi pengarah yang nak kena fikir itu ini untuk dia, yang mana dia setakat lakonkan ikut arahan aje. No, taknak buat mcm tu lagi. Lagi satu, persiapan untuk diri sendiri paling penting,untuk belajar terima dia seadanya, dan belajar hidup dengan seseorang yang memang lain benar didikannya dari kita sejak kecik dulu.
So, balik pada tajuk, apa2 pun, yang penting nawaitu, kerana Allah. N sdg belajar tanamkan rasa cinta kepada Allah mengatasi segala-galanya. InsyaAllah semua jadi ok, dan Allah akan tunjuk jalan-jalan seterusnya, tapi haruslah tidak terburu-buru. Tindakan mesti bijak, dan wajib ada SABAR. Doakan saya...insyaAllah...amin
Setakat hari ni, hati saya masih terbuka untuk terima sesuatu yang masih, pada saya, punya harapan dan kesudahan yang baik insyaAllah. Kerana telah memilih sekali, saya masih rasa yang pemilihan yang lepas adalah yang terbaik untuk dipertahankan, untuk diperbaiki. Mungkin dulu lain ceritanya. Tapi dengan hidayah Allah beri, sedikit penghijrahan yang sangatlah kecil dari diri sendiri, saya ingin sangat gunakan untuk perbaiki sesuatu yang sudah hampir rapuh dan hancur. Konfiden itu datang dari kepercayaan dan penyerahan hidup bulat-bulat kepada Allah. Rasa cinta ada Allah wajib lebih dari segala galanya. Dengan itu kita mungkin dapat buat pilihan dengan lebih yakin. As a human yang sangat lemah pengetahuan dan langsung buta dengan keghaiban, atau kejadian yang bakal dihadapi, saya cuma berharap keputusan ini tepat.
Mungkin Allah sedang menguji saya sekarang. Apa yang dah jadi, saya jadikan satu pengajaran yang besar, dan dengan itu, pelbagai action and back up action, selain catatan untuk mengingatkan diri dan menghindarkan diri dari terjerumus pada sesuatu yang tak diingini berlaku. Kemudian, I will always assume yang manusia sangat sukar berubah. Seseorang yang lain tidak mungkin dapat mengubah seorang yang lainnya, kalau bukan datang dari inisiatif diri orang itu sendiri. So macamana? caranya, berdoa dan solat hajat agar Allah temukan jalan yg lurus buat orang itu, dan sebagai orang yang rapat dengannya, haruslah ada cara yang 'halus' untuk kasi perubahan dalam diri org tersebut. Halus tak bermaksud jin, syaitan dan sebagainya ya. Tapi indirect ways/means to lead the people tend to change to the right path. Bantu dia. Serik dah nak jadi cikgu atau makcik bebel, atau jadi pengarah yang nak kena fikir itu ini untuk dia, yang mana dia setakat lakonkan ikut arahan aje. No, taknak buat mcm tu lagi. Lagi satu, persiapan untuk diri sendiri paling penting,untuk belajar terima dia seadanya, dan belajar hidup dengan seseorang yang memang lain benar didikannya dari kita sejak kecik dulu.
So, balik pada tajuk, apa2 pun, yang penting nawaitu, kerana Allah. N sdg belajar tanamkan rasa cinta kepada Allah mengatasi segala-galanya. InsyaAllah semua jadi ok, dan Allah akan tunjuk jalan-jalan seterusnya, tapi haruslah tidak terburu-buru. Tindakan mesti bijak, dan wajib ada SABAR. Doakan saya...insyaAllah...amin
Thursday, 22 March 2012
Allah the almighty
Salam. Today is friday. Friday is the best day among others for muslims. Take the chance to pray and hope that Allah will listen to all our prayers, amin....
Like me, Alhamdulillah, after struggle to live, and struggle to survive after the worst tragedy happened to me, Allah at the right time, show me what he should. Last monday,at about 11 00 pm, my husband came back. I act very calm and peaceful, in order to listen to him, after 2 months plus, he disappeared. I don't know why, although I was very upset and mad to all that he has done, but deep inside, I still love him very much, coz he is my husband, and...I really pity on him, and really hope that he'll change. He apologized, he bent down to my knee to express the sincere sorry, but it was hard. It's not because I still mad at him. In fact I forgive him long time ago. But it was so complicated. I have to be fair with myself and my parents. When he was away, my parents, family and friends were with me to make me happy. Always accompany me. If I choose to come back to him, I will have him, but I will lose more. They were around when he ran from me.
However, I am still his wife and he said that he loves me so much and never wanna let me go. I'd ask him to divorce me in a good way, for the sake of everyone. For the justice. For my future, my parents and family, and also for his family. But he refused to. He really hopes that I will come back to him and we will build a new life. New family. I have not decided any. Though I love him so much, I need to think of myself. How suffer I was when he ran away. When he choosed to silent. I scared things to happen once again.
Istikharah is the best way. I will pray to god to show me the right path, and to make a right decision. Whatever it is, i want to do what I can do best for myself, my parents, for islam and for my family. I have to be fair to everyone, despite of what I want, or what I think. InsyaAllah.
Like me, Alhamdulillah, after struggle to live, and struggle to survive after the worst tragedy happened to me, Allah at the right time, show me what he should. Last monday,at about 11 00 pm, my husband came back. I act very calm and peaceful, in order to listen to him, after 2 months plus, he disappeared. I don't know why, although I was very upset and mad to all that he has done, but deep inside, I still love him very much, coz he is my husband, and...I really pity on him, and really hope that he'll change. He apologized, he bent down to my knee to express the sincere sorry, but it was hard. It's not because I still mad at him. In fact I forgive him long time ago. But it was so complicated. I have to be fair with myself and my parents. When he was away, my parents, family and friends were with me to make me happy. Always accompany me. If I choose to come back to him, I will have him, but I will lose more. They were around when he ran from me.
However, I am still his wife and he said that he loves me so much and never wanna let me go. I'd ask him to divorce me in a good way, for the sake of everyone. For the justice. For my future, my parents and family, and also for his family. But he refused to. He really hopes that I will come back to him and we will build a new life. New family. I have not decided any. Though I love him so much, I need to think of myself. How suffer I was when he ran away. When he choosed to silent. I scared things to happen once again.
Istikharah is the best way. I will pray to god to show me the right path, and to make a right decision. Whatever it is, i want to do what I can do best for myself, my parents, for islam and for my family. I have to be fair to everyone, despite of what I want, or what I think. InsyaAllah.
Sunday, 18 March 2012
Peaceful mind and beautiful heart.
Assalamualaikum.
Let us find solutions to have a peaceful mind and beautiful heart. Be grateful. We still can live our life in the earth of Allah with enough food, good health and the energy to do work. Begin our day with bismillahirrahmanirrahim and pray to Allah. Remember Allah in every single thing that you do. Be patient of whatever happened or will happen to you. Forgive people. Pray for people. Clean your mind and heart. Ask for forgiveness. Pray to god to give you the right path of life. InsyaAllah, you will have a peaceful mind and beautiful heart today.
Let us find solutions to have a peaceful mind and beautiful heart. Be grateful. We still can live our life in the earth of Allah with enough food, good health and the energy to do work. Begin our day with bismillahirrahmanirrahim and pray to Allah. Remember Allah in every single thing that you do. Be patient of whatever happened or will happen to you. Forgive people. Pray for people. Clean your mind and heart. Ask for forgiveness. Pray to god to give you the right path of life. InsyaAllah, you will have a peaceful mind and beautiful heart today.
Tuesday, 13 March 2012
Seriously- I miss this!
cannot express by words! I really miss all this! I will upload more and more....wish I can turn back time ngeh ngeh...;p
Pagi yg sejuk sebab hujan
Post kali ni takde kena mengena dengan tajuk diatas. baru jap tadi, kul 9.09 am ada call from Koperal Maznah dari Balai Polis Senai. Erk! Terkezut gak aku, pehal pagi2 polis call. Apakah? N dia tanya pasal kereta wira aku tu..ooo..ok...aku pun kasi lah maklumat kat dia...pastu dia kata, ok, nnti tindakan lanjut akan menyusul..haih..bagus pulak cik polis..tetiba nk tolong follow up, since aku pun langsung tak follow up dari aritu..anyway, takpe lah..just wait n see. I wanna do my work now ya! to be continue.......daaaa ;)
Entry before balik rumah
Hurm...bersihkan hati dari sebarang dendam. Hapuskan semua amarah yang ada. Bersabarlah..balik rumah dgn tenang...bersyukur dengan semua yang Allah beri...jangan difikirkan sgt penganiayaan org terhadap kita kerana, Allah itu maha Adil dan maha Mengetahui atas tiap-tiap sesuatu. Itu yang pasti. Dan, janji Allah pada manusia yang teraniaya, apabila kita bersabar dan banyakkan bersabar, Allah akan hapuskan dosa-dosa kita insyaAllah.....dan yg sedang menganiaya, biarkan lah dia. Tak ada yg rosak pada diri kita, melainkan mereka merosakkan diri mereka sendiri, wallhuallam. I am not a god either, to know what will happen in the future, so leave it to Allah almighty. Clean your heart. Bersihkan jiwa dan lapangkan doa. Banyakkan zikir dan istighfar. Ingat cuma pada Allah yg Esa. Semua yang jadi ada hikmahnya. Yang penting, bersihkan jiwa kita sendiri dulu, kerana tiada satu pun manusia mampu menjamin syurga kita di akhirat kelak. I am reminding myself before going back to my lovely house! N, I am happy today Alhamdulillah...tiada yg merunsingkan and I am problem-free! Syukur...daaa!
Monday, 12 March 2012
fashionista ahak ahak!
taraaaa!!!presenting, a gucci bag! love love love love....i'll be back in the industry of fashion lover, a shopaholic, a dumb crazy for bags and dresses!!!! I"LL BE BACK SOON......soon...soon....haha!
see the following..i'm craving for you lah! with colors and variety of style..
well, if i can't find it from Johor Premium Outlet (maybe only Burberry), the Orchard road is a must! ngehee...but anyway, i still remember a coach bag which i bought in the last 2 years, at Bali Airport, is way cheaper than anywhere else ya..i mean, at the airport, anywhere. So, have to wait till i go for any vacation maybe, then I can start looking at the designer brands, with cheaper, slightly cheaper than in outlets in Spore or KL. Yeah...love it love it love it..muahhhhhsss! ;)!
see the following..i'm craving for you lah! with colors and variety of style..
Anya Hindmarch..nice tote! |
another lovely bag from GUCCI |
colors from Anya Hindmarch..again |
A Burberry |
Again...rumah
boleh lah kan? hehe...slow slow men deco pule...it may takes sometimes kot tapi takpe...ini dia rumahku syurgaku..lalala~~Alhamdulillah again.........
video kawen & tunang
to share as memories...............
http://vimeo.com/ojekvids/ajayusop
http://vimeo.com/ojekvids/afzanandhafiz
daaa!!
http://vimeo.com/ojekvids/ajayusop
http://vimeo.com/ojekvids/afzanandhafiz
daaa!!
Sunday, 11 March 2012
Pindah rumah
Sabtu lepas, akhirnya...aku pindah juga ke rumah baru saya, di Setia Tropika, JB. Alhamdulillah...lepas dapat kunci 5 Januari yg lepas, baru lah skrg berpeluang betul betul pindah rumah. Pakej angkut mak bapak & adik serta suami, dan juga baby maryam yg terjerit2 semalam kesukaan hehe..:) Rupa2nya, mmg tu rezeki mak abah lah yer..
alkisahnya..mmg plan nak beli rumah dah lama, since aku promoted jadi AM kat deloitte dulu..erm taun berapa ek..i guess 2009 or 2008, tak ingat..tapi time tu decide punya decide, last2 beli kereta dulu...tapi in early 2010 (time baru2 kenal hafis a.k.a suami or bakal bekas suami), time tu ktorg jalan2 g cs, nampak la pameran jual2 rumah ni..dok usha2..tu booth jual rumah kat taman seri austin, jb. Aku dgn dia pun pegi la survey umah tu, sampai sesat2 kitorg. Hurm..time tu mmg takde plan apa2 pun, nawaitu aku just nak beli rumah untuk parents aku so that we can stay together in a bigger house. that is why aku decide usha rumah double storey. time tu mana ada plan kawen2 ni kan, coz i am still single n dgn hafis pun time tu baru kenal2 je..pas agak2 mcm berkenan kat umah tu, aku pun g la bawak cik kiah a.k.a mak aku g tgk. n since dia sgt berkenan, aku pun terus g cop umah tu n bayar booking fee kat kak maziah..tak igt nama rumah tu tp aku ingat sgt color hijau dia..hehe...
as usual lah aku kan suka mintak pendapat ramai org before decide something..aku tanya kwn2 semua, especially penasihat utama aku si fuad n fahmi. Diorg ni pun pegi la usha rumah yg aku beli tu N........dua dua sengal ni komplen bagai nak rak!!! "aja, kenapa lah kau nak beli umah tu..please..kawasan dia..errr.....bla bla bla bla...." bebel punya bebel..sampai aku ada 2nd thoughts utk nak beli rumah..si fahmi pun terus g setia tropika n usha umah tu. he called me and bgtau advantage beli umah setia tropika yg mmg area dia urban n stylo lahh....then the other saturday aku dgn hafis pun pergi lah gak survey....erk...survey punya survey berkenan sgtlah kat rumah yg kitorg panggil rumah ferrari (sbb interior design dia berkonsep kan ferrari gitu)...yg best coz umah ni ada garaj kereta kat belakang, mmg best n ada style. kira sejiwa ah dgn aku. cewahh! bila tanya harga....erp!! alamak...mak dato..double dari budget aku.. mak aiii...tapi, dgn support yg teramat2 support dr en hafis, lama2 aku pun byr booking fee RM500....
still belum dapat decide sbb abah kata mahal sgt dan tak berbaloi. pergghh penat nya pencarian rumah..abah nak harga yg worth, klu boleh nak area2 umah dia jugak..hurm cari rumah sampai satu jb nak puaskan apa yg abah nak. tp mmg susah. time tu pulak aku ni maha busy, so mmg masa tu sgtlah tak ada utk belek2 itu dan ini...tp mybe rezeki sp setia lah kan nak cekik duit aku, last2 abah agree suh aku beli umah garaj tu..yeayyy...yg paling happy siapa tau- HAFIS. Dia budget time ni mmg konpem2 lah jadi laki aku kan? haha..pegi sain itu ini semua dgn dia. Tak lama pun bank nak approve loan n akhirnya...umah yg dinamakan Dycto Mezzo@Setia Tropika is mine..ngeh ngeh...;p
Well, Alhamdulillah...now...arini..dah 2 hari aku bermalam kat rumah tu..syukur..best sgt sbb tgk betapa excited nya abah...betapa bangga nya dia...tu je cukup buat aku happy..happy sgt tgk dia teruja...dia duduk kat master bedroom, aku duduk tgh2, shasha nuar n maryam duduk kat bilik belakang..hehe...suke nya aku..bila apa yg aku dapat, boleh dishare bersama...:) Alhamdulillah....mmg terasa bahagia..smlm kak lin pun turun dari melaka dgn anak2..dah mcm hari raya pun ada..best2!
hurm...kdg2 tu ada lah jugak teringat kat si dia. sbb rumah tu dia yg pilih, walaupun aku tukang bayo n empunya rumah. Time umah tu masih dalam peringkat work-in progress, kitorg selalu g visit..selalu berangan itu ini..cmana nak deco umah tu, apa nak buat berdua kat umah tu etc etc..n time amik kunci, dia yg g amik without me..dia amik dgn abah...tapi time duduk, akhirnya dia takde..dia tak berpeluang langsung pun nak duduk walau sehari kat rumah yg dia sebenarnya idam idam kan..takpelah, maybe bukan rezeki dia..n maybe dia bukan jodoh terbaik utk aku..n maybe Allah nak aturkan yg terbaik utk hidup dia, n aturkan terbaik utk hidup aku...tak apa lah...yang penting, aku patut rasa bersyukur yg teramat amat sgt..kerana Allah beri juga kebahgiaan dari sudut lain..kebahagiaan yg mungkin bukan aku seorang yang rasa, tapi dapat share dgn mak abah yg tersayang..
mak n abah...takde apa2 yg mampu dibalas utk jasa2 diorg selama ni..tapi ni sebahagian dari hadiah utk beri kegembiraan pada kamu although hadiah ni sgt2 kecil..thanks for everything..:)
Friday, 9 March 2012
Thursday, 8 March 2012
Nak jadi audit partner...boleh???
Hehe...boleh tak? bagi aku masa 5 tahun eh..lalala..boleh ker masalahnya? insyaAllah...amin...tapi kena baca byk...companies act, bnm act, ssm practice note, money lender act dan segala jenis act, kena telan cukup2..FRS, IFRS dan segala jenis S S S ni nak kena pahamkan...IAS, ISA, MASB lah apa lah..MIA rules la itu la ini la..wahhh...sempat ke ni 5 tahun? maybe...yakin boleh ya! Amin...mintak2 lah cita2 ku tercapai. Agaknya..agak nya lah kan, aku ni tercipta utk buat audit kot. haha. sbb tu dari dulu nak mintak commercial mcm payah no nak dapat! wakakaka! hurmm..kalau lepas2 ni, taun2 depan ke, mana lah tau ada mana2 akauntan nak ngorat aku, dipersilakan lah yer..boleh join bukak audit firm sama2..hehe..tu pun kalau aku punya title 'bini' dah tertanggal lah yer..ish ish..astaghfirullah...dosa..dosa...hurmm...future tak siapa boleh predict kan..tapi mintak yg baik je lah dgn Allah, insyaAllah dipermudahkan...:)! sambung baca practice note 12/2011 by SSM ya...daaa.........!
Syukur
Assalamualaikum, today is friday. I never feel the sense of friday before, but now Thanks to Allah, when it comes to Friday, I feel it. I feel the greatness of the day. It's different from the other days. Hurm, I believe all of us feel the same too. I won't elaborate about friday and the benefits of the day. I just want to share about 'syukur'. The feel of 'syukur'. Why we need to thank god.
When Allah gives us a test, we will feel down, very sad, deeply sorrow, heartache, mad, angry, lost hopes and many more. I felt it too, and in fact, I still feel it now. The one that I have in mind not only as mentioned above, but more than that that I just couldn't describe. The questions mark. Why me? Why him? Why? And the doubts. What will be the end? What's next? What will happen to him? How is it? So many questions mark in my head. So many, I could not describe, still.
But, think back. This is just a small little test given by Allah. I just lose him. Only him. Yes, it gives so much impact to me, coz I love him. So much. So much and I was given my soul to him, everything. But, think again. I will emphasize this. I ONLY LOSE HIM. What else did I lost? I still have my job, and it is more stable than before, I have the position, a stable position. I earned my own salary, and Alhamdulillah my earnings are quite a huge number, and I am in a comfort zone. What else? I can drive my own car, I have cars, I have a house, I still can wear nice blouses, pants, can use perfumes, with nice smells, I still wear a watch. I possess lovely couple of parents, siblings, nieces and nephews, lots of best friends! What else? I still can eat good food. Everyday I eat good foods. Variety of foods. Chinese food, Thai food, western food, indian food. Everyday. In fact, per day, I will eat that type of food not only once, but at least twice! Anymore?? I have time to go out with friends, I still can go to watch movies, TVs, window shopping, karaoke and many activities. Isn't it more than enough????
So why I must sad? Why I must cry every single day? No..crying is a natural process when you feel sad, when you feel betrayed, it's still natural to me. So let it be, until I have no more tears in my eyes. But, instead of feeling sad, I must have one thing in mind. SYUKUR. SYUKUR with all that I had. SYUKUR to Allah. How to express the syukur?? Praise to Allah, Alhamdulillah. Zikrillah. Pray to Allah. Recite his book, the Alquranulkarim. Salawat to rasul Allah. You will feel better. You will feel more than enough. You will be more peaceful. You will know better, what do u want in life. Life is just a journey. So just walk. Along your journey, there will be obstacles here and there. So just walk and find the way to face the obstacles and solve it. Find the lessons behind it. Walk through it. Settle it. Do not be fear. Allah will always with you. You will never be alone. So syukur with all that you had. You will have more than what you need, as long as you believe in yourself, believe in Allah's promises. You will find the brightness soon. You will see the great future at one fine time. When? Only god knows.
Conclusion:
1) Syukur
2) Live your life, put the effort to earn your living
3) Pray to Allah
4) Believe in Allah
5) Redha to Allah
6) Syukur again.........................
Wassalam
p/s: harap takde yg anggap ayat kat atas ni ada yg nak menunjuk2 or membangga diri k.....tu utk sedapkan ati sendiri jea..;p!
When Allah gives us a test, we will feel down, very sad, deeply sorrow, heartache, mad, angry, lost hopes and many more. I felt it too, and in fact, I still feel it now. The one that I have in mind not only as mentioned above, but more than that that I just couldn't describe. The questions mark. Why me? Why him? Why? And the doubts. What will be the end? What's next? What will happen to him? How is it? So many questions mark in my head. So many, I could not describe, still.
But, think back. This is just a small little test given by Allah. I just lose him. Only him. Yes, it gives so much impact to me, coz I love him. So much. So much and I was given my soul to him, everything. But, think again. I will emphasize this. I ONLY LOSE HIM. What else did I lost? I still have my job, and it is more stable than before, I have the position, a stable position. I earned my own salary, and Alhamdulillah my earnings are quite a huge number, and I am in a comfort zone. What else? I can drive my own car, I have cars, I have a house, I still can wear nice blouses, pants, can use perfumes, with nice smells, I still wear a watch. I possess lovely couple of parents, siblings, nieces and nephews, lots of best friends! What else? I still can eat good food. Everyday I eat good foods. Variety of foods. Chinese food, Thai food, western food, indian food. Everyday. In fact, per day, I will eat that type of food not only once, but at least twice! Anymore?? I have time to go out with friends, I still can go to watch movies, TVs, window shopping, karaoke and many activities. Isn't it more than enough????
So why I must sad? Why I must cry every single day? No..crying is a natural process when you feel sad, when you feel betrayed, it's still natural to me. So let it be, until I have no more tears in my eyes. But, instead of feeling sad, I must have one thing in mind. SYUKUR. SYUKUR with all that I had. SYUKUR to Allah. How to express the syukur?? Praise to Allah, Alhamdulillah. Zikrillah. Pray to Allah. Recite his book, the Alquranulkarim. Salawat to rasul Allah. You will feel better. You will feel more than enough. You will be more peaceful. You will know better, what do u want in life. Life is just a journey. So just walk. Along your journey, there will be obstacles here and there. So just walk and find the way to face the obstacles and solve it. Find the lessons behind it. Walk through it. Settle it. Do not be fear. Allah will always with you. You will never be alone. So syukur with all that you had. You will have more than what you need, as long as you believe in yourself, believe in Allah's promises. You will find the brightness soon. You will see the great future at one fine time. When? Only god knows.
Conclusion:
1) Syukur
2) Live your life, put the effort to earn your living
3) Pray to Allah
4) Believe in Allah
5) Redha to Allah
6) Syukur again.........................
Wassalam
p/s: harap takde yg anggap ayat kat atas ni ada yg nak menunjuk2 or membangga diri k.....tu utk sedapkan ati sendiri jea..;p!
Wednesday, 29 February 2012
Love yourself
Aja!!!!!!Please love yourself!!!Don't let them interrupt your mind! Please chase them away! Please!!!!Otherwise you can't go anywhere, but you are actually move backwards! Please! Pick up as much as strength that you can! If not you will always feel the pain...come on! This is so called a battle. You must win! Love yourself Aja. Please. Love yourself. Be selfish. It's ok! Selfish. Do not think about others. Think about yourself. Always think of you. Come on, wake up Aja. Cheer up! Throw all the rubbish and nonsense from your head and be selfish! Think of your own! Please..please..please...I'm begging you...pleaseeeee......
Hari-hari yang malas
1st March 2012. Sekejap je, aku dah 2 bulan keje kat sini. Hurm...lagi sebulan untuk confirmation. :) Boleh tahan lah..tapi..kdg2 ada rasa bosan gak..guess what? dah 3 hari tak tau nak buat apa, n dok ngadap internet sampai aku naik muak jelak..ntah salah sapa pun aku tak tau. tapi mmg takde kerja! hahhaa...kalau dulu kat deloitte ni, sure lah aku tgh berperang hari-hari, sampai ke 3 4 pagi. nak berinternetisasi? argghh mmg tidak lah kannn...busy nya sampai buat aku tak tenang tido, or lebih tepat lagi, dalam mimpi pun masuk bab2 kerja ni..hahaha..whatever is is, syukur lah dgn nikmat masa yang Allah bagi ni...Dia aturkan yang terbaik utk kita semua...time2 ada problem, aku ada kelapangan masa dalam kerjaya. Kalau tak, sure aku ni separuh gila dek masalah yg bertimpa2...huhu
Jap lagi nak g KL..ada meeting. adoii..buat meeting hari kames, and they expect u to come back n work the next day. Then, the meeting only start at 4 and probably finish at 6pm. Mangkuk betul! Hello, the journey takes u 8 hours ok (4 hours from and 4 hours to JB)....tired lah! tapi nak buat canor..nak diberi kerja kann..so buat je lah....
hati aku still rasa sakit. the pain is deep inside, tak terluah dek kata2. Aku je yang boleh rasa. It's tooooo painful but i just have to find the medicine for recovery. To heal the cuts. To heal the pain. Maybe it's too new to remove all the feelings inside. Takpelah, what can I do? dah mcm2 action tapi x jalan gak, so BERSABAR je lah...always remind myself, sabar...sabar...sabar....only that. Kdg2 rasa ya ampun, tak sangka aku teraniaya sgt2...sgt2 rasa dianiayai...kalau boleh cek hati aku ni kot dah berlubang..pecah2..darah2..teruk kot..tapi sbb tak boleh tgk kan, hanya boleh rasa. N kita sorg je boleh rasa. Hurmmm...takpe takpe...time flies, and the sadness and sorrow will go away. N I am definitely sure that I will be happy, and even happier than now, in the future. As long as I am patient, and follow the right direction, I will be and always be in the right track insyaAllah.
Jap lagi nak g KL..ada meeting. adoii..buat meeting hari kames, and they expect u to come back n work the next day. Then, the meeting only start at 4 and probably finish at 6pm. Mangkuk betul! Hello, the journey takes u 8 hours ok (4 hours from and 4 hours to JB)....tired lah! tapi nak buat canor..nak diberi kerja kann..so buat je lah....
hati aku still rasa sakit. the pain is deep inside, tak terluah dek kata2. Aku je yang boleh rasa. It's tooooo painful but i just have to find the medicine for recovery. To heal the cuts. To heal the pain. Maybe it's too new to remove all the feelings inside. Takpelah, what can I do? dah mcm2 action tapi x jalan gak, so BERSABAR je lah...always remind myself, sabar...sabar...sabar....only that. Kdg2 rasa ya ampun, tak sangka aku teraniaya sgt2...sgt2 rasa dianiayai...kalau boleh cek hati aku ni kot dah berlubang..pecah2..darah2..teruk kot..tapi sbb tak boleh tgk kan, hanya boleh rasa. N kita sorg je boleh rasa. Hurmmm...takpe takpe...time flies, and the sadness and sorrow will go away. N I am definitely sure that I will be happy, and even happier than now, in the future. As long as I am patient, and follow the right direction, I will be and always be in the right track insyaAllah.
A gift for you
BACAAN KETIKA DI TIMPA KEPAYAHAN (SEDIH, DERITA)
Sabda Nabi SAW di dalam hadith riwayat al-Haa-kim: Mahukah aku beritahukan kepada kamu dengan sesuatu yang apabila seseorang dari kalangan kamu di timpa kepayahan (sedih, derita) atau di timpa bala dari bala-bala dunia lalu ia berdoa dengannya akan dihilangkan darinya (kepayahan dan bala)? Dikatakan kepada Nabi SAW: Bahkan mahu (wahai Rasulullah): Sabda Nabi SAW: Doa Nabi Yunus:
َلا إِلهَ إِلاَّ أَنْتَ سُبْحَانَكَ إِنِّي كُنْتُ مِنَ الظَّالِمِيْنَMaksudnya: Tiada Tuhan selain Engkau, Maha Suci Engkau, sesungguhnya aku telah termasuk di dalam golongan orang-orang yang zalim.
َلا إِلهَ إِلاَّ أَنْتَ سُبْحَانَكَ إِنِّي كُنْتُ مِنَ الظَّالِمِيْنَ
Zaman Muda!!!
Zaman muda mudi yang sgt best!!!!! berjalan manjang! dari bali ke phuket, sampai sabah, sarawak, ke pulau redang dan tioman, tak lupa air papan dan desaru, camping kat gunung ledang, jadi pelancong kat melaka..ahh macam2 lagi lah...best giler.....siyes...i was damn crazy with those activities, sbb kdg2 kitorg gelak, kdg2 nangis, kdg2 gaduh..mcm2 lagi...tak lupa, compulsary activities- makan-makan, BBQ, birthday prank, karaoke, breakfast, jogging and many more! i wish i could turn back time....hurmm...malas nak ckp byk, tgk je gambar2 ni k..that was captured during those moments, and reflect our happiness and satisfaction- live our life to the fullest.
Banyak kan??? sambung gambar2 lain kat post seterusnya k...daa!! ;p!
Our first trip- Air Papan |
Co trip to Sabah |
Jalan-jalan g Melaka |
Desaru & BBQ |
Tioman- teringat kat Salim! |
Bali- with Deloitte gang |
Camping di Gunung Ledang |
Vacation @ Tganu and Redang Island |
Tuesday, 28 February 2012
29 February 2012
what a date! 4 years once. anything special today? I guess no. I am writing just because I don't know what to do. I have done my job. All has been completed. Hey working here, at the same speed as I did in Deloitte, make me always FREE in the office. haha..i hope none of my colleagues can read this. Now, just waiting for them to complete their job and send me for my review.
Ermm...according to HIS father last week, HE wants to come back at this date. I mean today. Really? I don't know whether I should trust them or not. But anyway I have no longer interest on them. So either they really come or not, I don't care. I just want to be happy. If HE really dare to appear, right in front of me, what I wanna do is just communicate. I will ask questions, and plan to smile and speak in sarcastic way. And I do have my own decision now. I will tell HIM. Hope everything goes well, InsyaAllah.
Ermm...according to HIS father last week, HE wants to come back at this date. I mean today. Really? I don't know whether I should trust them or not. But anyway I have no longer interest on them. So either they really come or not, I don't care. I just want to be happy. If HE really dare to appear, right in front of me, what I wanna do is just communicate. I will ask questions, and plan to smile and speak in sarcastic way. And I do have my own decision now. I will tell HIM. Hope everything goes well, InsyaAllah.
Ratu 'kebuloq'
Gelaran baru kak yati kat aku. Tau kenapa? sbb keje kat bdo ni, perut aku tak abes2 lapar..lapar memanjang..kitorg kt sini lunch- kalau tak ayam penyet, si soto. kalau tak, makanan mamak si zam zam..kul 130 kira kenyang lah kan...tapi, kul 5 30 lapar balik...aishhh..time2 tu lah teringat cik spagethi lar, chicken chop la, dominos pizza lar, maggi sup lar, roti sardin la, sup ayam lah, nasi ayam penyet lah, bakso lah etc etc etc...semalam, dalam kul 6 g lepaks dgn kak yati, sasi a.k.a sasekuo sen-buggerrr..LOL!, rika, raimi, vivian n wan ching. Makan roti sardin n air soya. Discuss hot topic- the Gatal Boss when he saw SEXY girl...alamax! tak ku sangka! botak pun pandai gedik. haha...siap ada pesanan ringkas lagi dengan bebudak ni.."so Aja kau jgn pakai seksi2 lagi tau.." ....hahahhaha!!! balik opis, tolong kemas2 store yg tak siap2 tu. n, malam, dlm kul 11, lapar lagi!!! teringat 'pepes' kat banafe depan ni (PEPES ialah MAKANAN seperti otak-otak, tapi dia berempah sikit n ukuran 1/2 dari otak-otak yg biasa kita mkn tu)....makan 3 batang..with air bandung soda..jap g tgk rika makan bakso..lah! order lah jugak! hehe...that is why saya digelar ratu kebulur...well, org lain tension tak nak makan. But when I am stress, I like to eat a lot!! see the difference?? haha...tapi all those foods yg ditelan, dimakan dek hati. so ni lah hasilnya...badanku yg semakin the A4 paper size. Lol!
Monday, 27 February 2012
Support
What I had the most in life?? Money?? Assets? Boyfriends??Handbags???haha..all wrong! My answer is, SUPPORT. I do have many support. From every corner. My parents, family, relatives and also friends!! Yeah I do. Thanks to mak, abah, kak yati, kak lin, kak ruby, abg nazri, abg azhar, nuar, syahira, syahir, uda, moksu, kak tenti (i called her kak sean), liza, kak emah, mak ela, ainil, aryn, wahida, abas, juliana, fahmi, fuad, aien, rafie, rozek, earda, yull, rezuan, kak yati bedorr, aidil, rika, heidi, sue, aiem, dilla, abg syam etc etc etc..
ehhhh....soooo many lahhh...many more until i can't mention here..i am so thankful coz I have so many people whom really take care of me, always accompany me, always be a good listener to me, always be a good advisor to me.. thanks a lot and so much! muahhhxxoxoxo!!I just don't know how to appreciate all of them. Correction. How to show my appreciation to all of them. But what I know is, I will always pray for their happiness. I love all of them a lot! All are equally close to me and always behind me in every situation or condition that I faced. Alhamdulillah.
So, what else I want? I just want to move ahead, don't ever look back! stay and walk to the front, and keep walking. I will not scare of anything else. I will not feel lost. For those people who wanna backstab me, don't feel like they wanna take care of me, all I can say, DO I CARE??? NO I DON'T. Thank you so much for being there once..but I know you were not sincere at all. May Allah bless u dear..;)
Hijab
I always want to do it. Since many many years ago, I already have that feelings. But being a fashion-lover, there are always millions and thousands excuses and reasons to block my intention to wear hijab. I just don't want to appear as 'kampung' girl, or maybe 'non-modern' type of woman, and etc etc. But deep inside my heart, I want to do it! How to start?? There are more and more excuses, such as, I don't have pants, I don't have proper clothes, etc etc etc. Until yesterday night, when I reached home at about 12 am, after enjoying myself with Kak Yati, Rika and Raimi at the Banafe restaurant. I took wudhu', and perform my Isya' pray. When I recite Al-fatihah, suddenly I cry. I was crying until the last part of pray, which is tahiyatulakhir and salam, my tears dropped and it falls non-stop. I just continue to zikr, pray and recite surah yasin. AND suddenly I think that there will be no more excuses, and there will be no more delay. I must start no matter what. I have decided. As of 28/2/2012, I have started to wear my hijab, and I hope, really hope, it will last forever. Amin.
Sunday, 26 February 2012
Marriage
Yes, I am smart. I am intelligent enough to think what's best for me. But I have heart. I love my husband. I am sincerely love him, as much as I love myself. When he go away from me, I realised, and many people make me realised, how bad he is. I started to cultivate the 'hate-ness' inside my mind. I put as much as possible all dirty mind about him, and what he could be, and the impact to me, if we are still together. However, as of now, he is still my husband. Nothing I can do. Can I reject him when he come back to me and persuade me as much as he could? Or should I reject him, as most people said that I'm going to meet someone better. Can I predict my future?? No I can't. He is still my husband. I should have save my marriage. Or shouldn't I? I don't know
Redha
Redha to Allah. Redha to his qada' and qadar. But can we 'redha' before the things have actually happened? No. It is actually the initiative to get into the things u want. U can only redha when the things really occurred. So, prior to it, don't just 'redha' to Allah. Put your effort to it. Pray for it. Leave it to Allah. Whatever happen afterthat, then only you can redha to his willingness. Allah knows what best for you. Amin
Allah always with me
This is so true. I am 31 years old and Allah always with me no matter what. And he will always be! :) So don't scared or be sad when someone that u love or someone who always accompanied you, are no longer with you..coz u still and always have Allah. When you are sad, talk to Allah in your prayer. When you are happy, praise Allah in your zikr. When you are alone or you just don't know who to refer to, recite al quran coz there are so many true and right things for your guidance.
I am just remind myself....and others who wanna share this. :)
I am just remind myself....and others who wanna share this. :)
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