Allah the almighty

Salam. Today is friday. Friday is the best day among others for muslims. Take the chance to pray and hope that Allah will listen to all our prayers, amin....

Like me, Alhamdulillah, after struggle to live, and struggle to survive after the worst tragedy happened to me, Allah at the right time, show me what he should. Last monday,at about 11 00 pm, my husband came back. I act very calm and peaceful, in order to listen to him, after 2 months plus, he disappeared. I don't know why, although I was very upset and mad to all that he has done, but deep inside, I still love him very much, coz he is my husband, and...I really pity on him, and really hope that he'll change. He apologized, he bent down to my knee to express the sincere sorry, but it was hard. It's not because I still mad at him. In fact I forgive him long time ago. But it was so complicated. I have to be fair with myself and my parents. When he was away, my parents, family and friends were with me to make me happy. Always accompany me. If I choose to come back to him, I will have him, but I will lose more. They were around when he ran from me.

However, I am still his wife and he said that he loves me so much and never wanna let me go. I'd ask him to divorce me in a good way, for the sake of everyone. For the justice. For my future, my parents and family, and also for his family. But he refused to. He really hopes that I will come back to him and we will build a new life. New family. I have not decided any. Though I love him so much, I need to think of myself. How suffer I was when he ran away. When he choosed to silent. I scared things to happen once again.

Istikharah is the best way. I will pray to god to show me the right path, and to make a right decision. Whatever it is, i want to do what I can do best for myself, my parents, for islam and for my family. I have to be fair to everyone, despite of what I want, or what I think. InsyaAllah.