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Welcome. Just wanna share my thoughts and this is medium to express my emotions...:)

Friday 30 March 2012

Cintai Allah Maha Agung

Maka mencintai Allah lebih dari segala-galanya itulah yang harus diterapkan dalam diri. Cuba mencari dan terus mencari cinta Allah. Takkan ada benda yang datang bergolek. Walaupun kita dilahirkan islam, kita masih wajib mencari iman. Harus mendapatkan hidayah dariNya. Iman tak dapat diwarisi. Tapi kita dikurniakan akal fikiran. Tepuk dada tanya selera. Mana jalan yang kita nak pilih untuk bahagia? So, serah lah bulat bulat kepada Allah s.w.t. Dalam al-quran sendiri ada quote byk mengenai penyerahan kita kepada Allah. Cuba lakukan yang terbaik untuk bahagia. Bersangka baik dengan Allah. Apa pun jalan yang kita pilih, kalau kita rasakan tujuannya semata-mata kerana Allah s.w.t, insyaAllah Allah lorongkan dan temukan yang terbaik saja untuk kita. Kalau tertimpa sesuatu di tengah jalan pun, itu adalah ujian kesabaran untuk kita tempuh, n mudah mudahan kalau kita still ikut jalan yg betul dgn sabar, Allah letak ganjaran yang tinggi untuk kita. Mungkin kalau kemanisan itu bukan di dunia, Allah pasti temukan kemanisan tu di syurga nanti Amin Wallahuallam.....

Setakat hari ni, hati saya masih terbuka untuk terima sesuatu yang masih, pada saya, punya harapan dan kesudahan yang baik insyaAllah. Kerana telah memilih sekali, saya masih rasa yang pemilihan yang lepas adalah yang terbaik untuk dipertahankan, untuk diperbaiki. Mungkin dulu lain ceritanya. Tapi dengan hidayah Allah beri, sedikit penghijrahan yang sangatlah kecil dari diri sendiri, saya ingin sangat gunakan untuk perbaiki sesuatu yang sudah hampir rapuh dan hancur. Konfiden itu datang dari kepercayaan dan penyerahan hidup bulat-bulat kepada Allah. Rasa cinta ada Allah wajib lebih dari segala galanya. Dengan itu kita mungkin dapat buat pilihan dengan lebih yakin. As a human yang sangat lemah pengetahuan dan langsung buta dengan keghaiban, atau kejadian yang bakal dihadapi, saya cuma berharap keputusan ini tepat.

Mungkin Allah sedang menguji saya sekarang. Apa yang dah jadi, saya jadikan satu pengajaran yang besar, dan dengan itu, pelbagai action and back up action, selain catatan untuk mengingatkan diri dan menghindarkan diri dari terjerumus pada sesuatu yang tak diingini berlaku. Kemudian, I will always assume yang manusia sangat sukar berubah. Seseorang yang lain tidak mungkin dapat mengubah seorang yang lainnya, kalau bukan datang dari inisiatif diri orang itu sendiri. So macamana? caranya, berdoa dan solat hajat agar Allah temukan jalan yg lurus buat orang itu, dan sebagai orang yang rapat dengannya, haruslah ada cara yang 'halus' untuk kasi perubahan dalam diri org tersebut. Halus tak bermaksud jin, syaitan dan sebagainya ya. Tapi indirect ways/means to lead the people tend to change to the right path. Bantu dia. Serik dah nak jadi cikgu atau makcik bebel, atau jadi pengarah yang nak kena fikir itu ini untuk dia, yang mana dia setakat lakonkan ikut arahan aje. No, taknak buat mcm tu lagi. Lagi satu, persiapan untuk diri sendiri paling penting,untuk belajar terima dia seadanya, dan belajar hidup dengan seseorang yang memang lain benar didikannya dari kita sejak kecik dulu.

So, balik pada tajuk, apa2 pun, yang penting nawaitu, kerana Allah. N sdg belajar tanamkan rasa cinta kepada Allah mengatasi segala-galanya. InsyaAllah semua jadi ok, dan Allah akan tunjuk jalan-jalan seterusnya, tapi haruslah tidak terburu-buru. Tindakan mesti bijak, dan wajib ada SABAR. Doakan saya...insyaAllah...amin

Thursday 22 March 2012

Allah the almighty

Salam. Today is friday. Friday is the best day among others for muslims. Take the chance to pray and hope that Allah will listen to all our prayers, amin....

Like me, Alhamdulillah, after struggle to live, and struggle to survive after the worst tragedy happened to me, Allah at the right time, show me what he should. Last monday,at about 11 00 pm, my husband came back. I act very calm and peaceful, in order to listen to him, after 2 months plus, he disappeared. I don't know why, although I was very upset and mad to all that he has done, but deep inside, I still love him very much, coz he is my husband, and...I really pity on him, and really hope that he'll change. He apologized, he bent down to my knee to express the sincere sorry, but it was hard. It's not because I still mad at him. In fact I forgive him long time ago. But it was so complicated. I have to be fair with myself and my parents. When he was away, my parents, family and friends were with me to make me happy. Always accompany me. If I choose to come back to him, I will have him, but I will lose more. They were around when he ran from me.

However, I am still his wife and he said that he loves me so much and never wanna let me go. I'd ask him to divorce me in a good way, for the sake of everyone. For the justice. For my future, my parents and family, and also for his family. But he refused to. He really hopes that I will come back to him and we will build a new life. New family. I have not decided any. Though I love him so much, I need to think of myself. How suffer I was when he ran away. When he choosed to silent. I scared things to happen once again.

Istikharah is the best way. I will pray to god to show me the right path, and to make a right decision. Whatever it is, i want to do what I can do best for myself, my parents, for islam and for my family. I have to be fair to everyone, despite of what I want, or what I think. InsyaAllah.

Sunday 18 March 2012

Peaceful mind and beautiful heart.

Assalamualaikum.

Let us find solutions to have a peaceful mind and beautiful heart. Be grateful. We still can live our life in the earth of Allah with enough food, good health and the energy to do work. Begin our day with bismillahirrahmanirrahim and pray to Allah. Remember Allah in every single thing that you do. Be patient of whatever happened or will happen to you. Forgive people. Pray for people. Clean your mind and heart. Ask for forgiveness. Pray to god to give you the right path of life. InsyaAllah, you will have a peaceful mind and beautiful heart today.

Tuesday 13 March 2012

Seriously- I miss this!









cannot express by words! I really miss all this! I will upload more and more....wish I can turn back time ngeh ngeh...;p

Pagi yg sejuk sebab hujan

Post kali ni takde kena mengena dengan tajuk diatas. baru jap tadi, kul 9.09 am ada call from Koperal Maznah dari Balai Polis Senai. Erk! Terkezut gak aku, pehal pagi2 polis call. Apakah? N dia tanya pasal kereta wira aku tu..ooo..ok...aku pun kasi lah maklumat kat dia...pastu dia kata, ok, nnti tindakan lanjut akan menyusul..haih..bagus pulak cik polis..tetiba nk tolong follow up, since aku pun langsung tak follow up dari aritu..anyway, takpe lah..just wait n see. I wanna do my work now ya! to be continue.......daaaa ;)

Entry before balik rumah

Hurm...bersihkan hati dari sebarang dendam. Hapuskan semua amarah yang ada. Bersabarlah..balik rumah dgn tenang...bersyukur dengan semua yang Allah beri...jangan difikirkan sgt penganiayaan org terhadap kita kerana, Allah itu maha Adil dan maha Mengetahui atas tiap-tiap sesuatu. Itu yang pasti. Dan, janji Allah pada manusia yang teraniaya, apabila kita bersabar dan banyakkan bersabar, Allah akan hapuskan dosa-dosa kita insyaAllah.....dan yg sedang menganiaya, biarkan lah dia. Tak ada yg rosak pada diri kita, melainkan mereka merosakkan diri mereka sendiri, wallhuallam. I am not a god either, to know what will happen in the future, so leave it to Allah almighty. Clean your heart. Bersihkan jiwa dan lapangkan doa. Banyakkan zikir dan istighfar. Ingat cuma pada Allah yg Esa. Semua yang jadi ada hikmahnya. Yang penting, bersihkan jiwa kita sendiri dulu, kerana tiada satu pun manusia mampu menjamin syurga kita di akhirat kelak. I am reminding myself before going back to my lovely house! N, I am happy today Alhamdulillah...tiada yg merunsingkan and I  am problem-free! Syukur...daaa!

Monday 12 March 2012

fashionista ahak ahak!

taraaaa!!!presenting, a gucci bag! love love love love....i'll be back in the industry of fashion lover, a shopaholic, a dumb crazy for bags and dresses!!!! I"LL BE BACK SOON......soon...soon....haha!

see the following..i'm craving for you lah! with colors and variety of style..
Anya Hindmarch..nice tote!

another lovely bag from GUCCI

colors from Anya Hindmarch..again

A Burberry
well, if i can't find it from Johor Premium Outlet (maybe only Burberry), the Orchard road is a must! ngehee...but anyway, i still remember a coach bag which i bought in the last 2 years, at Bali Airport, is way cheaper than anywhere else ya..i mean, at the airport, anywhere. So, have to wait till i go for any vacation maybe, then I can start looking at the designer brands, with cheaper, slightly cheaper than in outlets in Spore or KL. Yeah...love it love it love it..muahhhhhsss! ;)!

Again...rumah





boleh lah kan? hehe...slow slow men deco pule...it may takes sometimes kot tapi takpe...ini dia rumahku syurgaku..lalala~~Alhamdulillah again.........

video kawen & tunang

to share as memories...............

http://vimeo.com/ojekvids/ajayusop

http://vimeo.com/ojekvids/afzanandhafiz

daaa!!

Sunday 11 March 2012

Pindah rumah


Sabtu lepas, akhirnya...aku pindah juga ke rumah baru saya, di Setia Tropika, JB. Alhamdulillah...lepas dapat kunci 5 Januari yg lepas, baru lah skrg berpeluang betul betul pindah rumah. Pakej angkut mak bapak & adik serta suami, dan juga baby maryam yg terjerit2 semalam kesukaan hehe..:) Rupa2nya, mmg tu rezeki mak abah lah yer..

alkisahnya..mmg plan nak beli rumah dah lama, since aku promoted jadi AM kat deloitte dulu..erm taun berapa ek..i guess 2009 or 2008, tak ingat..tapi time tu decide punya decide, last2 beli kereta dulu...tapi in early 2010 (time baru2 kenal hafis a.k.a suami or bakal bekas suami), time tu ktorg jalan2 g cs, nampak la pameran jual2 rumah ni..dok usha2..tu booth jual rumah kat taman seri austin, jb. Aku dgn dia pun pegi la survey umah tu, sampai sesat2 kitorg. Hurm..time tu mmg takde plan apa2 pun, nawaitu aku just nak beli rumah untuk parents aku so that we can stay together in a bigger house. that is why aku decide usha rumah double storey. time tu mana ada plan kawen2 ni kan, coz i am still single n dgn hafis pun time tu baru kenal2 je..pas agak2 mcm berkenan kat umah tu, aku pun g la bawak cik kiah a.k.a mak aku g tgk. n since dia sgt berkenan, aku pun terus g cop umah tu n bayar booking fee kat kak maziah..tak igt nama rumah tu tp aku ingat sgt color hijau dia..hehe...

as usual lah aku kan suka mintak pendapat ramai org before decide something..aku tanya kwn2 semua, especially penasihat utama aku si fuad n fahmi. Diorg ni pun pegi la usha rumah yg aku beli tu N........dua dua sengal ni komplen bagai nak rak!!! "aja, kenapa lah kau nak beli umah tu..please..kawasan dia..errr.....bla bla bla bla...." bebel punya bebel..sampai aku ada 2nd thoughts utk nak beli rumah..si fahmi pun terus g setia tropika n usha umah tu. he called me and bgtau advantage beli umah setia tropika yg mmg area dia urban n stylo lahh....then the other saturday aku dgn hafis pun pergi lah gak survey....erk...survey punya survey berkenan sgtlah kat rumah yg kitorg panggil rumah ferrari (sbb interior design dia berkonsep kan ferrari gitu)...yg best coz umah ni ada garaj kereta kat belakang, mmg best n ada style. kira sejiwa ah dgn aku. cewahh! bila tanya harga....erp!! alamak...mak dato..double dari budget aku.. mak aiii...tapi, dgn support yg teramat2 support dr en hafis, lama2 aku pun byr booking fee RM500....

still belum dapat decide sbb abah kata mahal sgt dan tak berbaloi. pergghh penat nya pencarian rumah..abah nak harga yg worth, klu boleh nak area2 umah dia jugak..hurm cari rumah sampai satu jb nak puaskan apa yg abah nak. tp mmg susah. time tu pulak aku ni maha busy, so mmg masa tu sgtlah tak ada utk belek2 itu dan ini...tp mybe rezeki sp setia lah kan nak cekik duit aku, last2 abah agree suh aku beli umah garaj tu..yeayyy...yg paling happy siapa tau- HAFIS. Dia budget time ni mmg konpem2 lah jadi laki aku kan? haha..pegi sain itu ini semua dgn dia. Tak lama pun bank nak approve loan n akhirnya...umah yg dinamakan Dycto Mezzo@Setia Tropika is mine..ngeh ngeh...;p

Well, Alhamdulillah...now...arini..dah 2 hari aku bermalam kat rumah tu..syukur..best sgt sbb tgk betapa excited nya abah...betapa bangga nya dia...tu je cukup buat aku happy..happy sgt tgk dia teruja...dia duduk kat master bedroom, aku duduk tgh2, shasha nuar n maryam duduk kat bilik belakang..hehe...suke nya aku..bila apa yg aku dapat, boleh dishare bersama...:) Alhamdulillah....mmg terasa bahagia..smlm kak lin pun turun dari melaka dgn anak2..dah mcm hari raya pun ada..best2!

hurm...kdg2 tu ada lah jugak teringat kat si dia. sbb rumah tu dia yg pilih, walaupun aku tukang bayo n empunya rumah. Time umah tu masih dalam peringkat work-in progress, kitorg selalu g visit..selalu berangan itu ini..cmana nak deco umah tu, apa nak buat berdua kat umah tu etc etc..n time amik kunci, dia yg g amik without me..dia amik dgn abah...tapi time duduk, akhirnya dia takde..dia tak berpeluang langsung pun nak duduk walau sehari kat rumah yg dia sebenarnya idam idam kan..takpelah, maybe bukan rezeki dia..n maybe dia bukan jodoh terbaik utk aku..n maybe Allah nak aturkan yg terbaik utk hidup dia, n aturkan terbaik utk hidup aku...tak apa lah...yang penting, aku patut rasa bersyukur yg teramat amat sgt..kerana Allah beri juga kebahgiaan dari sudut lain..kebahagiaan yg mungkin bukan aku seorang yang rasa, tapi dapat share dgn mak abah yg tersayang..

mak n abah...takde apa2 yg mampu dibalas utk jasa2 diorg selama ni..tapi ni sebahagian dari hadiah utk beri kegembiraan pada kamu although hadiah ni sgt2 kecil..thanks for everything..:)


Thursday 8 March 2012

Nak jadi audit partner...boleh???

Hehe...boleh tak? bagi aku masa 5 tahun eh..lalala..boleh ker masalahnya? insyaAllah...amin...tapi kena baca byk...companies act, bnm act, ssm practice note, money lender act dan segala jenis act, kena telan cukup2..FRS, IFRS dan segala jenis S S S ni nak kena pahamkan...IAS, ISA, MASB lah apa lah..MIA rules la itu la ini la..wahhh...sempat ke ni 5 tahun? maybe...yakin boleh ya! Amin...mintak2 lah cita2 ku tercapai. Agaknya..agak nya lah kan, aku ni tercipta utk buat audit kot. haha. sbb tu dari dulu nak mintak commercial mcm payah no nak dapat! wakakaka! hurmm..kalau lepas2 ni, taun2 depan ke, mana lah tau ada mana2 akauntan nak ngorat aku, dipersilakan lah yer..boleh join bukak audit firm sama2..hehe..tu pun kalau aku punya title 'bini' dah tertanggal lah yer..ish ish..astaghfirullah...dosa..dosa...hurmm...future tak siapa boleh predict kan..tapi mintak yg baik je lah dgn Allah, insyaAllah dipermudahkan...:)! sambung baca practice note 12/2011 by SSM ya...daaa.........!

Syukur

Assalamualaikum, today is friday. I never feel the sense of friday before, but now Thanks to Allah, when it comes to Friday, I feel it. I feel the greatness of the day. It's different from the other days. Hurm, I believe all of us feel the same too. I won't elaborate about friday and the benefits of the day. I just want to share about 'syukur'. The feel of 'syukur'. Why we need to thank god.

When Allah gives us a test, we will feel down, very sad, deeply sorrow, heartache, mad, angry, lost hopes and many more. I felt it too, and in fact, I still feel it now. The one that I have in mind not only as mentioned above, but more than that that I just couldn't describe. The questions mark. Why me? Why him? Why? And the doubts. What will be the end? What's next? What will happen to him? How is it? So many questions mark in my head. So many, I could not describe, still.

But, think back. This is just a small little test given by Allah. I just lose him. Only him. Yes, it gives so much impact to me, coz I love him. So much. So much and I was given my soul to him, everything. But, think again. I will emphasize this. I ONLY LOSE HIM. What else did I lost? I still have my job, and it is more stable than before, I have the position, a stable position. I earned my own salary, and Alhamdulillah my earnings are quite a huge number, and I am in a comfort zone. What else? I can drive my own car, I have cars, I have a house, I still can wear nice blouses, pants, can use perfumes, with nice smells, I still wear a watch. I possess lovely couple of parents, siblings, nieces and nephews, lots of best friends! What else? I still can eat good food. Everyday I eat good foods. Variety of foods. Chinese food, Thai food, western food, indian food. Everyday. In fact, per day, I will eat that type of food not only once, but at least twice! Anymore?? I have time to go out with friends, I still can go to watch movies, TVs, window shopping, karaoke and many activities. Isn't it more than enough????

So why I must sad? Why I must cry every single day? No..crying is a natural process when you feel sad, when you feel betrayed, it's still natural to me. So let it be, until I have no more tears in my eyes. But, instead of feeling sad, I must have one thing in mind. SYUKUR. SYUKUR with all that I had. SYUKUR to Allah. How to express the syukur?? Praise to Allah, Alhamdulillah. Zikrillah. Pray to Allah. Recite his book, the Alquranulkarim. Salawat to rasul Allah. You will feel better. You will feel more than enough. You will be more peaceful. You will know better, what do u want in life. Life is just a journey. So just walk. Along your journey, there will be obstacles here and there. So just walk and find the way to face the obstacles and solve it. Find the lessons behind it. Walk through it. Settle it. Do not be fear. Allah will always with you. You will never be alone. So syukur with all that you had. You will have more than what you need, as long as you believe in yourself, believe in Allah's promises. You will find the brightness soon. You will see the great future at one fine time. When? Only god knows.

Conclusion:
1) Syukur
2) Live your life, put the effort to earn your living
3) Pray to Allah
4) Believe in Allah
5) Redha to Allah
6) Syukur again.........................

Wassalam

p/s: harap takde yg anggap ayat kat atas ni ada yg nak menunjuk2 or membangga diri k.....tu utk sedapkan ati sendiri jea..;p!