Love yourself

Aja!!!!!!Please love yourself!!!Don't let them interrupt your mind! Please chase them away! Please!!!!Otherwise you can't go anywhere, but you are actually move backwards! Please! Pick up as much as strength that you can! If not you will always feel the pain...come on! This is so called a battle. You must win! Love yourself Aja. Please. Love yourself. Be selfish. It's ok! Selfish. Do not think about others. Think about yourself. Always think of you. Come on, wake up Aja. Cheer up! Throw all the rubbish and nonsense from your head and be selfish! Think of your own! Please..please..please...I'm begging you...pleaseeeee......

Hari-hari yang malas

1st March 2012. Sekejap je, aku dah 2 bulan keje kat sini. Hurm...lagi sebulan untuk confirmation. :) Boleh tahan lah..tapi..kdg2 ada rasa bosan gak..guess what? dah 3 hari tak tau nak buat apa, n dok ngadap internet sampai aku naik muak jelak..ntah salah sapa pun aku tak tau. tapi mmg takde kerja! hahhaa...kalau dulu kat deloitte ni, sure lah aku tgh berperang hari-hari, sampai ke 3 4 pagi. nak berinternetisasi? argghh mmg tidak lah kannn...busy nya sampai buat aku tak tenang tido, or lebih tepat lagi, dalam mimpi pun masuk bab2  kerja ni..hahaha..whatever is is, syukur lah dgn nikmat masa yang Allah bagi ni...Dia aturkan yang terbaik utk kita semua...time2 ada problem, aku ada kelapangan masa dalam kerjaya. Kalau tak, sure aku ni separuh gila dek masalah yg bertimpa2...huhu

Jap lagi nak g KL..ada meeting. adoii..buat meeting hari kames, and they expect u to come back n work the next day. Then, the meeting only start at 4 and probably finish at 6pm. Mangkuk betul! Hello, the journey takes u 8 hours ok (4 hours from and 4 hours to JB)....tired lah! tapi nak buat canor..nak diberi kerja kann..so buat je lah....

hati aku still rasa sakit. the pain is deep inside, tak terluah dek kata2. Aku je yang boleh rasa. It's tooooo painful but i just have to find the medicine for recovery. To heal the cuts. To heal the pain. Maybe it's too new to remove all the feelings inside. Takpelah, what can I do? dah mcm2 action tapi x jalan gak, so BERSABAR je lah...always remind myself, sabar...sabar...sabar....only that. Kdg2 rasa ya ampun, tak sangka aku teraniaya sgt2...sgt2 rasa dianiayai...kalau boleh cek hati aku ni kot dah berlubang..pecah2..darah2..teruk kot..tapi sbb tak boleh tgk kan, hanya boleh rasa. N kita sorg je boleh rasa. Hurmmm...takpe takpe...time flies, and the sadness and sorrow will go away. N I am definitely sure that I will be happy, and even happier than now, in the future. As long as I am patient, and follow the right direction, I will be and always be in the right track insyaAllah.

A gift for you

BACAAN KETIKA DI TIMPA KEPAYAHAN (SEDIH, DERITA)

Sabda Nabi SAW di dalam hadith riwayat al-Haa-kim: Mahukah aku beritahukan kepada kamu dengan sesuatu yang apabila seseorang dari kalangan kamu di timpa kepayahan (sedih, derita) atau di timpa bala dari bala-bala dunia lalu ia berdoa dengannya akan dihilangkan darinya (kepayahan dan bala)? Dikatakan kepada Nabi SAW: Bahkan mahu (wahai Rasulullah): Sabda Nabi SAW: Doa Nabi Yunus:

َلا إِلهَ إِلاَّ أَنْتَ سُبْحَانَكَ إِنِّي كُنْتُ مِنَ الظَّالِمِيْنَ

Maksudnya: Tiada Tuhan selain Engkau, Maha Suci Engkau, sesungguhnya aku telah termasuk di dalam golongan orang-orang yang zalim.

Zaman Muda!!!

Zaman muda mudi yang sgt best!!!!! berjalan manjang! dari bali ke phuket, sampai sabah, sarawak, ke pulau redang dan tioman, tak lupa air papan dan desaru, camping kat gunung ledang, jadi pelancong kat melaka..ahh macam2 lagi lah...best giler.....siyes...i was damn crazy with those activities, sbb kdg2 kitorg gelak, kdg2 nangis, kdg2 gaduh..mcm2 lagi...tak lupa, compulsary activities- makan-makan, BBQ, birthday prank, karaoke, breakfast, jogging and many more! i wish i could turn back time....hurmm...malas nak ckp byk, tgk je gambar2 ni k..that was captured during those moments, and reflect our happiness and satisfaction- live our life to the fullest.

Our first trip- Air Papan

Co trip to Sabah



Jalan-jalan g Melaka



Desaru & BBQ

Tioman- teringat kat Salim!

Bali- with Deloitte gang

Camping di Gunung Ledang



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Vacation @ Tganu and Redang Island

Banyak kan??? sambung gambar2 lain kat post seterusnya k...daa!! ;p!

29 February 2012

what a date! 4 years once. anything special today? I guess no. I am writing just because I don't know what to do. I have done my job. All has been completed. Hey working here, at the same speed as I did in Deloitte, make me always FREE in the office. haha..i hope none of my colleagues can read this. Now, just waiting for them to complete their job and send me for my review.

Ermm...according to HIS father last week, HE wants to come back at this date. I mean today. Really? I don't know whether I should trust them or not. But anyway I have no longer interest on them. So either they really come or not, I don't care. I just want to be happy. If HE really dare to appear, right in front of me, what I wanna do is just communicate. I will ask questions, and plan to smile and speak in sarcastic way. And I do have my own decision now. I will tell HIM. Hope everything goes well, InsyaAllah.

Ratu 'kebuloq'

Gelaran baru kak yati kat aku. Tau kenapa? sbb keje kat bdo ni, perut aku tak abes2 lapar..lapar memanjang..kitorg kt sini lunch- kalau tak ayam penyet, si soto. kalau tak, makanan mamak si zam zam..kul 130 kira kenyang lah kan...tapi, kul 5 30 lapar balik...aishhh..time2 tu lah teringat cik spagethi lar, chicken chop la, dominos pizza lar, maggi sup lar, roti sardin la, sup ayam lah, nasi ayam penyet lah, bakso lah etc etc etc...semalam, dalam kul 6 g lepaks dgn kak yati, sasi a.k.a sasekuo sen-buggerrr..LOL!, rika, raimi, vivian n wan ching. Makan roti sardin n air soya. Discuss hot topic- the Gatal Boss when he saw SEXY girl...alamax! tak ku sangka! botak pun pandai gedik. haha...siap ada pesanan ringkas lagi dengan bebudak ni.."so Aja kau jgn pakai seksi2 lagi tau.." ....hahahhaha!!! balik opis, tolong kemas2 store yg tak siap2 tu. n, malam, dlm kul 11, lapar lagi!!! teringat 'pepes' kat banafe depan ni (PEPES ialah MAKANAN seperti otak-otak, tapi dia berempah sikit n ukuran 1/2 dari otak-otak yg biasa kita mkn tu)....makan 3 batang..with air bandung soda..jap g tgk rika makan bakso..lah! order lah jugak! hehe...that is why saya digelar ratu kebulur...well, org lain tension tak nak makan. But when I am stress, I like to eat a lot!! see the difference?? haha...tapi all those foods yg ditelan, dimakan dek hati. so ni lah hasilnya...badanku yg semakin the A4 paper size. Lol!

Support

What I had the most in life?? Money?? Assets? Boyfriends??Handbags???haha..all wrong! My answer is, SUPPORT. I do have many support. From every corner. My parents, family, relatives and also friends!! Yeah I do. Thanks to mak, abah, kak yati, kak lin, kak ruby, abg nazri, abg azhar, nuar, syahira, syahir, uda, moksu, kak tenti (i called her kak sean), liza, kak emah, mak ela, ainil, aryn, wahida, abas, juliana, fahmi, fuad, aien, rafie, rozek, earda, yull, rezuan, kak yati bedorr, aidil, rika, heidi, sue, aiem, dilla, abg syam etc etc etc..

ehhhh....soooo many lahhh...many more until i can't mention here..i am so thankful coz I have so many people whom really take care of me, always accompany me, always be a good listener to me, always be a good advisor to me.. thanks a lot and so much! muahhhxxoxoxo!!I just don't know how to appreciate all of them. Correction. How to show my appreciation to all of them. But what I know is, I will always pray for their happiness. I love all of them a lot! All are equally close to me and always behind me in every situation or condition that I faced. Alhamdulillah.

So, what else I want? I just want to move ahead, don't ever look back! stay and walk to the front, and keep walking. I will not scare of anything else. I will not feel lost. For those people who wanna backstab me, don't feel like they wanna take care of me, all I can say, DO I  CARE??? NO I DON'T. Thank you so much for being there once..but I know you were not sincere at all. May Allah bless u dear..;)

Hijab

I always want to do it. Since many many years ago, I already have that feelings. But being a fashion-lover, there are always millions and thousands excuses and reasons to block my intention to wear hijab. I just don't want to appear as 'kampung' girl, or maybe 'non-modern' type of woman, and etc etc. But deep inside my heart, I want to do it! How to start?? There are more and more excuses, such as, I don't have pants, I don't have proper clothes, etc etc etc. Until yesterday night, when I reached home at about 12 am, after enjoying myself with Kak Yati, Rika and Raimi at the Banafe restaurant. I took wudhu', and perform my Isya' pray. When I recite Al-fatihah, suddenly I cry. I was crying until the last part of pray, which is tahiyatulakhir and salam, my tears dropped and it falls non-stop. I just continue to zikr, pray and recite surah yasin. AND suddenly I think that there will be no more excuses, and there will be no more delay. I must start no matter what. I have decided. As of 28/2/2012, I have started to wear my hijab, and I hope, really hope, it will last forever. Amin.

Marriage

(time ni sedih giler masa baca doa)

Yes, I am smart. I am intelligent enough to think what's best for me. But I have heart. I love my husband. I am sincerely love him, as much as I love myself. When he go away from me, I realised, and many people make me realised, how bad he is. I started to cultivate the 'hate-ness' inside my mind. I put as much as possible all dirty mind about him, and what he could be, and the impact to me, if we are still together. However, as of now, he is still my husband. Nothing I can do. Can I reject him when he come back to me and persuade me as much as he could? Or should I reject him, as most people said that I'm going to meet someone better. Can I predict my future?? No I can't. He is still my husband. I should have save my marriage. Or shouldn't I? I don't know

Redha

Redha to Allah. Redha to his qada' and qadar. But can we 'redha' before the things have actually happened? No. It is actually the initiative to get into the things u want. U can only redha when the things really occurred. So, prior to it, don't just 'redha' to Allah. Put your effort to it. Pray for it. Leave it to Allah. Whatever happen afterthat, then only you can redha to his willingness. Allah knows what best for you. Amin

Allah always with me

This is so true. I am 31 years old and Allah always with me no matter what. And he will always be! :) So don't scared or be sad when someone that u love or someone who always accompanied you, are no longer with you..coz u still and always have Allah. When you are sad, talk to Allah in your prayer. When you are happy, praise Allah in your zikr. When you are alone or you just don't know who to refer to, recite al quran coz there are so many true and right things for your guidance.

I am just remind myself....and others who wanna share this. :)